Day 11 - My Son, Matthew

My son, Matthew,
did not look like a winner. 

He was rather 
uncoordinated, 
and wore braces 
from the age of thirteen 
until the day he died. 

However, in his all too brief life 
he proved that he was a winner. 

On October 6, 1998 
my son tried to show the world 
that he could win again. 

On October 12, 1998 
my first born son 
and my hero, 
lost. 

On October 12, 1998 
my first born son 
and my hero, 
died, 
fifty days before 
his twenty-second birthday.

I keep wondering 
the same thing that I did 
when I first saw him in the hospital. 
What would he have become? 
How could he have changed 
his piece of the world 
to make it better?

Matt officially died 
in a hospital 
in Fort Collins, Colorado. 

He actually died 
on the outskirts of Laramie, 
tied to a fence. 

I miss my son, 
but I am proud 
to be able to say 
that he is my son.

I would like nothing 
better than to see you 
die Mr. McKinney. 

However, 
this is the time 
to begin the process 
of healing,
to show mercy 
to someone 
who refused 
to show any mercy.

Mr. McKinney, 
I am going to grant you life, 
as hard as it is for me to do so, 
because of Matthew. 
Every time 
you celebrate 
Christmas, 
a birthday, 
or the Fourth of July 
remember, Matt isn't.

Every time 
you wake up 
in your prison cell 
remember, you 
had the opportunity 
and the ability 
to stop your actions 
that night. 

You robbed me 
of something 
very precious,
Mr. McKinney, 
and I will never 
forgive you for that.

However,
I give you life 
in the memory of one 
who no longer lives. 

May you have a long life 
and may you thank him 
every day for having lived it.

- Based on Dennis Shepard's statement to the court after his son, Matthew, died in hate crime against gay men in Laramie. The audio of this can be heard here.

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Image Source: http://nypost.com/2013/09/21/new-book-questions-matthew-shepard-killing/