I was talking to some friends
about the value of discipline and the implications of the same when we lack it
in our society. A friend proposed – Fear from an authority has successfully
induced a sense of discipline and responsibility, even if it’s not sustainable.
Is that not better than not having it at all? In such case, what is the role of
democracy? Would some stricter laws and their implementation not help? People
need to behave and for that if force is the only option, why not use it to
discipline them a bit?
I wonder, whose definition of
discipline are we seeking, especially when we talk about it with respect to a
social suffering or people’s movement? For some, lighting up the candles at
India gate may be an act of indiscipline. For others, it’s a representation of
their angst and call for justice. For some walking colourfully dressed in LGBT
Pride March may be indiscipline. For others, it’s actualization of their
identity and a demand for respect for their being. In my understanding, even a
rape is not as much an act of sexual assault as it is an act of indiscipline in
response to power imbalance. If I put myself in victim’s place, all I see is a
heinous crime. It indeed is. However, for a moment if I slip into the skin of any
of those men, what do I see of myself? The first question is, why did I rape?
Why could I not control the want of such a sadist act? Why such want did arise
in first place? Why are women, children – both boys and girls, and old people
are being assaulted, left, right and center? Is it really about gender… or let
me ask… is it only about gender? Or
is it more about a deep apathy – to anything which is not “I”?
I fear any progressive action will
arise from our discussions without looking at these questions. I think our
current social framework (which is heavily derived from capitalism) has
accentuated our desperation to institute this “I” so much that we don’t
empathise any more. Even when we do charity, it is more for our self
actualization than anything else. We don’t put ourselves in others’ shoes, not
really. We want the best for our own feet. And in want of those perfect shoes
for ourselves, we cheat others, abuse others, rape others and even kill them.
It is this want to get the best shoes for ourselves that we have let a fucked
up education system exist for so long. We want “better” school for “our” kids
and let others go for whatever shitty schooling leftover. And when those
“others” don’t behave in better ways than us, we say “oh, they are such an
undisciplined lot!!” We suffer from this interesting paradox where on one hand we
don’t want to let other people think and reason lest we won’t be able to rule
over them. On the other, we want them to think and behave rationally.
Have we ever wondered what went
wrong in the upbringing of those six men that they committed themselves to do
what they did? Were they born to be rapists? Do we ever reflect as parents of
children who commit such errors in their lives, as to what is our role in what they do? By raising
these questions, I am not saying that those whose crime is proven should not be
punished. They must be. All I am saying is that we, I and you, are also responsible
in whatever happened or might be happening to some other girl, or even a boy,
in some other bus, train, home and elsewhere at this moment when you are
reading this.
And why do I say that? Because we
are too busy with irrelevant things. Because we never question what our
children are being equipped with in the name of education – not just in our
schools but in our homes, playgrounds, streets, the roadside posters, movies,
television and wherever there is an opportunity to learn. No, I am not saying
that we start censoring every aspect of our child’s life. Rather, I am asking a
different question. How often we select a school because it enables our
children to start making rationale and just choices? A school that helps our
children make sense of the world with their conscience? How often do we look
beyond the infrastructural and academic facilities of a school? How many
parents actually engage with the school of their children (and just attending
PTA meetings is not engagement!)? How many times do we question if the school
has clear goals for gender sensitization or sexuality education or social
conscience building or any such thing, while selecting for a school for our
children? It doesn’t really simply start in a bus on a Delhi road. It starts
very well in the male washroom walls and doors where our children draw a vagina
and a penis in most obscene form. It’s not just exploration. If exploration has
to happen it should in the classroom and drawing rooms and not washrooms. But do
we have any clue what is happening in our schools? Well to a good extent,
whatever we want to happen is happening.
So what do we seek for while selecting a school? If we are from upper economic class, we check for a
swimming pool and a tennis court. If we are from the middle class, we look for
the urgent attention on academics that we have come to believe, will change our
state of affairs. And if we are from the lower economic class… oh forget it,
who cares? And the major problem here is not what we choose, but that we come
from a class. Because it is our sense of class identity that defines what we
want and ask for. Our consumption of
educational experiences is class-based. But do we realize that our social
transactions in open society are not? And if we agree that our educational experiences
do shape up what we do when we grow up, is it not only just that everyone gets
similar quality of educational experience before we expect everyone to behave sanely
in equal fashion?
Check this. In the Quality
Education Study** released by Educational Initiatives Pvt. Ltd., a large
majority of 67% of students think that it is ok not to consider others
convenience if done only once in a while is or if they do not complain or one
is clear that laws are not being broken. About 40-43% of students in classes 4,
6 and 8 felt that education for a girl is not as important as responsibility
towards the family, if a choice has to be made between a boy or girl child in providing
education, boys are to be preferred over girls. Some of them also felt that in
the long run, educating a girl is a waste of resources. The report also tells
us that over 60% of time, even in these schools, is spent on only academic
learning. From the remaining, most of it is utilized for other co-scholastic
learning. There is no clear mention of any engagement at the levels of social
justice and conscience building. And here’s the twist. These are the “top” private
schools that India has, the ones which almost everyone in our country would
aspire to send their children for.
In my entire educational experience, I learnt English, Math, Science and
even a funny subject called Social Studies where I only parroted the dates
certain people fought on or certain boundaries that some political leaders have
drawn. I could see gender discrimination, sexual abuse, religion and caste
based discrimination, stereotyping and class struggles all around me. But I
could never make sense. And no one ever talked about it formally. Whatever I
learnt I did from my peers who were equally clueless. It was not even decent to
talk about any of these. “Tum in sab pe dhyaan mat do. Padhai me mann lagao.
(Don’t bother about these things. Focus on your studies.)” - was the typical response from family and
teachers. And just that you should know, I went one of the ‘good’ schools in
India. I wonder - what was that padhai
which was so critical that nothing else was addressed?
Over the years, I have come to believe that our educational experience
has a necessity of building a social conscience. “Preventing conflicts
is the work of politics; establishing peace is the work of education,” said Maria
Montessori*. We don’t exist as isolated
atoms in the scheme of things. However independent we would like to assume that
we are, even when we excrete in the morning in our closed toilets, it is a
social transaction as there’s someone getting into that stinky sewer when it
chokes. And we need to respect that. If a girl is travelling in a late night bus, that is not a sexual advance. She is just travelling late. We need to
respect that.
And this is the kind of discipline that I would like to see being
developed in our schools. For me the fear of being punished for not walking in
a line is not discipline. Because sooner than later, the fear will go and I
will break the line. However, when we discipline our behaviour by developing
our conscience, it is expected to stay on. So it’s not as much about stricter
laws. It’s not even so much about government’s failure for providing safe
spaces or transports. These institutions are as weak or strong as we ourselves
are. The victim’s friend told a news channel, “We were without clothes.
We tried to stop passersby. Several auto rickshaws, cars and bikes slowed down
but none stopped for about 20 to 25 minutes.” Don’t we see that
all those who just passed these victims that night, did
contribute to her death, however miniscule the contribution be, along with the rapists, the ineffective police, slow
hospitals and irresponsible government? No we don’t see that. And we don’t care
to see that. Because that points a finger at us – the people.
I think next time when we get angry with what happened in that bus we need to think about what kind of education our child
or sibling or any other child is receiving. And we should ask some different
questions... some tough questions. That may help save a girl in some other bus
or train.
* Maria Montessori was the Italian physician and educator
who developed Montessori education.
** Source: Quality Education Study, Educational
Initiatives and Wipro
