That was the most painful kiss may be.
Sitting on the verge of their final separation, and as far as they could on the sofa in drawing room, Rajesh and Yamini were feeling pretty awkward after that kiss. He just wanted to say goodbye and move out of the house. But he had gotten up, bent down to reach her cheeks and had planted a gentle kiss. Then, he stayed there, just like that for a while. So did she. In those few seconds, they had travelled beyond the pain of their divorce and unending days and nights of differences and quarrels, to the days they were in love with each other and a kiss just meant a medium to convey that love. In these few seconds, they were hit by the fact that a kiss between them no more conveys the same meaning as it did in those years. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how we start. What remains with us, most of the times, is the way we end it. And these moments of finality of their relationship were going to haunt their lives for longer than they had imagined. In their quest of lost individuality, what they realized had lost was, the beauty of their togetherness. The same togetherness which was, once upon a time, beautified by their individuality.
Sitting silently on the opposite corners of the sofa, they wondered for the most appropriate action, or words, or whatever that could help them get out of the awkwardness of this moment. Finally, she broke the silence, “Do you remember our first kiss,” she paused and then with some hesitation pronounced his name, “… Rajesh.”
He wanted to say ‘yes’. But then he also didn’t wish to lie. Not now at least. But then saying ‘no’ wouldn’t have been very rude? He didn’t wish to insult her emotions. Not now at least. So he just smiled, looking down on his shoes. Then he continued the same smile towards her. They looked into each others’ eyes, or did they try to do so… tried so hard that it appeared as if they really did? Dilemma is not a good thing, not in such moments. He got up and said, “I think I should leave now,” and looked around the house. “Let me know if you need any help. I shall be in the city for some more days. Then I will be moving to…”
“Let it be Rajesh. I would not want to know.” Oh fuck! Why did I say that? It was so bloody rude. How does it matter if I know where will he be going? But I can’t ask him now. Can I? She wondered. He was already at his door by now, with his last batch of baggage.
“Well then. Wish you good luck,” he said.
“Yeah. You too.” She looked up, confidently and impatiently this time. Just before he was about to turn and open the door, she ran up to him, pulled her heels up to reach up to his face, and kissed him on his lips. Hard. Near passionate. And desperate. With certain ferocity, as if she wanted to recreate the magic of their first kiss. But then she realized it was of no use. She pulled her heels down and said, “Goo…” stopped for a second and then continued to finish, “bye, Rajesh.” They tried to respond to each other with a smile but couldn’t stretch their lips much. Probably they were sealed by that last kiss. He stepped out of house and shut the door softly. They never got to know, but both had stayed behind the closed door for a while. He - waiting for her, to open it again and check if he was still there. She - waiting for the bell to ring again so that she could open it without any delay. But neither happened.