A matter of choice
I felt jittery. What is she gonna decide? What if she chooses
to go for the event over attending my class?
Though it may look very trivial, this was a classic
situational dilemma. You want to be at one place while you also want to be at
another place at the same time. What do you do? A student of mine was faced
with a similar situation where she wanted to come for the class (she has a good
attendance record) but then she had this opportunity to go for an event as
well.
She got through the selection process. She would be introducing a couple of speakers at the venue. I was asked to
inform her that she will be dropped out if she can’t come for both days of the
event for logistical reasons. For a moment I felt content. Cool, so she will
not be missing the class. I really felt it’s an important class and all must
attend. But then the teacher in me told me - This is a wonderful “teachable
moment”! Who decides what is ‘more important’ for someone? This was a situation
where my student could actually bring her decision making skills in use.
I called her and informed her about her selection. I explained
to her the condition for attending the event and also explained her both
scenarios, with what she has to lose and gain. She asked me, “Bhaiya, what
should I do? I want to come for the class. But I also want to go for the
event.” I told her, “You will have to decide for yourself.”
She got a little irritated, “What bhaiya! Someone is saying
go for the event and someone is saying go for the class. I don’t know what to
do!!”
“Look dear… this is one chance for you to bring in action
the learning from our class. We always emphasize on the value of choice and
decision making. I have explained you both scenarios. Now it is up to you to
decide what you want to do. And your decision should not be affected by what I
have to say or feel and what your other teachers (people involved in the event)
have to. All that should matter to you is – what YOU want to do. Take your
time. Think over it. Call me back once you have made up your mind.”
With not-so-confident voice, she said, “Ok bhaiya.”
In an hour’s time, I got a call from her. In a very sheepish
voice, she asked me, “Bhaiya, is it important to come for the class? Can I miss
this time?”
“Important or not is something that you should decide.”
She took a moment before she replied. “Bhaiya, I would like
to go for the event.”
“Sure. So you will be going for both days…” and I gave her further
instructions on what would be the next steps. When I got done with the call, I
had to inform the event people. What do I inform them – my student chose to not
attend my class and go for the event? But then another thought crossed my mind
– More than what did she chose, it’s important for me as a teacher that she did chose. Whether she comes to my class
for this one day or not, but she is a young girl now who can take her decisions
without being hassled by the pressures of “precious teachers’ suggestions”.
It’s really interesting how the person in us has to deal with the teacher in us, in every moment of our lives. I have to constantly
remind myself that I am a good teacher not when my students become what I want them to become, rather when they
become what they want to become.
Sometimes they may not select the best things; so what’s the
heck? Even I do. Recently a friend notified me of being so unsure of some of my own decisions. I think it’s important for our children to go wrong
at times and own it up. That’s part of learning. As teachers (or parents) we,
at times, become too cautious of things and start taking the decisions that our
children should take for themselves. Funny thing is we are the same people who couldn’t
take our own decisions (our teachers and parents did for us) and now we want to
take someone else’s decisions! In such situations, we are actually
disrespecting our children’s intellect.
I feel happy that my students are making their own choices, and
they have their reasons for those choices, irrespective of what I may have to think
of them.
