The stalker

The car stopped at the signal. She looked for him. He was standing there, wet, in his underpants. She smiled. He smiled. As he moved his hands up and down, his ribs flexed to define the leanness of his body. She opened her lips to let the warmth of her breath be smoked out. As the air passed through, her lips reddened. She almost licked off the water from his body. She let her eyes follow all his moves and then zoomed them out to focus on a particular part of his body. But then she realized she was missing on what's happening at other parts. She immediately zoomed her eyes in, in a frustration of missing on those forms that occurred in those missed moments. She found him looking at her. She felt being undressed. The honks around them didn't matter to her. They appeared far off.

The signal had turned yellow. She tried to look within his towel while he was changing. The lights turned green and the car moved. Her body didn't move. Neither did her face. Only two black balls moved from one corner to another in her eyes.

As the car turned right, she looked at her husband in the driver's seat. He looked at her and smiled. She smiled back and leaned to rest her head on his left hand. He kissed on her head. Some people indulge in a foreplay before making out. She did just the opposite. While she was cuddling in her husband's arms, she was still kissing the man she had left at the last signal. Every evening while returning from work, she would look for him. And he would be found there, mostly, cleaning himself, at an open pipeline, the only source of water for him, after a day's hard work. His nudity was a luxury for her, but a compulsion for him. The craving for a human body is probably the only one, where we dont engage in the discussions of the class. Its class is only defined in its quality, not from where is it produced or which brand is it of. Her want was the purest, devoid of any social subjugations, exactly as he existed. Every evening as she would walk out of her office, the only thing she would pray for would be this one minute at the signal. It had almost become the fuel of her life.

That day was a blessing. Her husband was out of town. She had to drive herself back home. She left office early, reached the signal almost ten minutes before her usual time and parked her car near the broken pineline. The evening supply was on and water was fountaining out. Some kids were playing in there. Two women were washing cloths. An old man was cleaning his cycle. She realized, probably they all were there, every evening. How come she never noticed them? She looked closely at their faces. The kids were playful. Women were chattering. The old man's face was devoid of any human expression. If something it contained, it was only an expression of the time which had passed by. She looked into the direction these people were coming from and going to. After few minutes, he arrived from the midst of the dirt, he would have called home. A torn jeans. Slipper-less, rugged feet. Bare chest. Strong, full arms. Hairs, curled up till the nape of his neck. White clean eyes, cupped in a dusty brown face. She gasped for some breath. “Oh! I so want him!!” she told herself.

The women asked those kids to pack up and move towards the dust this man was coming from. The sun had almost set, leaving behind the redness in the sky as its only trace. She looked at him as she would have done if they were alone in a space where no one else could enter. For the first time she had looked at him so closely. She moved her eyes from his feet to his face. For the first time she had looked into his eyes. Those clean, white ones. But they were not looking at her. She followed his gaze. She turned in the direction they were pointed at. She stopped at her car. She looked back at him and back in the direction he was looking. She again stopped at the car. Something crashed within her. She turned back, walked towards the car and started the engine.

Some wishes are better kept within than being given a form in this world. Inside, they remain authentic. Once exposed out, they get colored with the textures of who we are and how we are socially placed. The car zoomed into oblivion. He watched it till he could, then splashed some water on his face from the broken pipeline.

Image Source: http://www.toniccare.com/RefreshEyes-Anti-Wrinkle-Eye-Serum-p/refresh-eyes.htm

तुझे, कुछ और पाना चाहता हूँ |

तुझे पा लेने की एक अजीब ज़िद है,

जो तुझे पा लेने भर से, ख़त्म नहीं होती |

तेरे साथ होकर भी,

तुझे, कुछ और पाना चाहता हूँ |

हर वक़्त बेताब होता हूँ,

तेरी बाहों में आने को,

पर वहाँ आकर बस,

कुछ, घुट सा रहा होता हूँ |

तेरी साँसों में घुल जाए मेरी सांस,

इतनी करीबी की है ख्वाहिश,

पर तेरे पहलु में खुद को,

अक्सर, बस रोता-बिलखता पाता हूँ |

आ ख़त्म कर दे मुझे,

या राख़ होजा मेरी रूह में;

बस आज भर की रात, चाहे जीतनी लम्बी हो,

फिर, एक नयी सुबह पाना चाहता हूँ |

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Posting in Roman-Hindi (as one of my friends call it :P) as well, for those who understand Hindi but cant read in the original script:

Tujhe paa lene ki ek ajeeb zid hai,

jo tujhe paa lene bhar se,

khatm nahi hoti.

Tere saath ho kar bhi,

tujhe, kuchh aur paana chahta hoon.

Har waqt betaab hota hoon,

teri baaho me aane ko,

par waha aakar bas,

kuchh ghut sa raha hota hoon.

Teri saaso me ghul jaaye meri saans,

itani kareebi ki hai khawaahish,

par tere pehlu me khud ko,

aksar, bas rota bilakhata paata hoon.

Aa khatm kar de mujhe,

ya raakh ho ja meri ruh me,

bas aaj bhar ki raat,

chahe jitani lambi ho,

fir ek nayi subah paana chahta hoon.

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Apologies to my friends who may not understand Hindi. Feeling incapable of translating it with the same or even toned down essence it has been written with :(

P.S.: Thanx Donald! Reading and discussing it with you felt like good ol' times :)

The Silence Behind FDI Hulla

I have been following few reports and commentaries on FDI in retail for sometime now. However, I am left with few questions:

1. A lot of people are saying that this will bring in money to our country. I ask how? Are they coming in here for charity? They are coming here to do business, which means to make profit. They are going to buy our product, sell it to us, using our resources( human and material) and at the end take out the profit to their country. So basically, more than bringing money in, they are taking money out. Are we any reacher? People who get happy when World Bank sanctions a loan are funny people. A loan is not my money. Period. I have to return, and at most times with heavy interests. Same goes for FDI. It take out heavy profit value from my country, for a very low initial investment, and that too at the cost of us.

2. Mr. P. K. Vasudeva (supposedly a former senior professor at ICFAI, Chandigarh) say that since they have professional approach, they should be allowed in (HT editorial on November 30, 2011). Well what is this professional approach all about? The same apporach that failed Lehman Brothers, General Motors, Enron, and the likes? I think the professor must be talking about some other approach. But dude, don't you think it would be better if we could learn that approach, if that's really so cool, and apply it ourselves here? But I am sure we cant learn a thing, not because we Indians are any less at learning, but because those so-called FDI-offerers are sissy enough to make knoweldge public. They know that the only thing they have is a well packaged, and mostly half baked, processes and approach to things. And if kept open, there would be more critism than anything else. Said that, I dont say that our current approach is okay. Of course, we need to amend our systems. But WHY do we need to do it through them? Why can't we do it ourselves?

3. Abhijit Patnaik* (HT, December 02, 2011) very rightly said, “The world can't have a middle class with the same affluence as the US...” He argues that the consumer-led model is philosophically erraneous and we need to have new development paradigm that will include more sustainable business models, equitable distribution and better governance. Isn't it our extreme blind love for western systems, processes and approaches that we simply dont analyse them properly and feel like copying them? Is it that we dont want to THINK about solutions to our problems and simply copy-paste them from elsewhere?

4. It is said that it will give us more options and hence cheaper products. Well tell me, today I have almost 50 options to buy an underwear, but which one of them is cheaper than earlier times? It's a big fat farce.

5. Another strong argument is – It's the time of globallization. Another piece of crap. There's no such thing called globalization. Its just Americanization. And its scary. Not as much because one country is almost ruling the world, but more because one incompetent#, selfish$ and evil** country is almost ruling the world. They can simply not have any goodwill, and here I would like to leave out exceptional organizations who are doing some genuinely good work within and outside US.

6. Why all of a sudden a huge focus on FDI thing? Weren't we supposed to hear on Lokpal in winter session?

I am not sure if I am being overtly skeptical. I may be completely wrong. But my only point is, why do we need them to solve our problems. They will never ever solve a problem if it's making profit for them. Remember East India Company? They had come to do business here. What we got was colonization and oppression. And over 200 years of struggle. Now that's not cool with me. Is it with you? Let's listen to the silence behind FDI hulla. We may understand it a little better.

* I suggest, everyone should read Abhijit's article. It offers an interesting perspective.

# Their systems have failed, more often they should not.

$ Read through the internet and you will know how ruthlessly they have robbed the entire world.

** Of many instances read, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agent_Orange